The (Evening) Wood - August 23, 2012

For those of you who read this blog in it's earlier days, you know that I always was able to post things bright and early in the morning hence the name 'The Morning Wood'. This is my third post since rebooting the blog (due to a job change) and so far I've not been able to find the time to post in the morning. (In case you care, although you probably don't, my job responsibilities have increased about 159X since moving back to Orlando).

Wait....

None of you care. Anywho, welcome to today's edition of The Wood. Before we get to anything else....Best ticker ever? Best ticker ever.




That felt good.

Today we discuss Notre Dame football and it's struggles at one of the most important positions on the field. Given their schedule this year, I'm predicting more misery for the Domer faithful.

Let's do it.

The 'Stretch Armstrong'

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A few years back during Michigan's dark ages, they had this problem with defensive coaching and defensive talent. Their most glaring weakness was at cornerback. Watch Boubacar Cissoko vs. Michael Floyd for eye bleeding futility. 

Welp.

While Notre Dame had little success against Michigan, Floyd was a terror and he made Cissoko his absolute bitch and may have single handedly ruined Cissoko. He was later kicked off the team for committing multiple crimes. (Robbery, DUI, etc)

Michigan had a revolving door at cornerback during the RichRod era because of horrible recruiting and Angry Michigan Cornerback Hating God. He dished out his wrath and was finally appeased with the dismissal of RichRod. Fortunately for Michigan, last season saw breakout performances by Blake Countess and JT Floyd and the position finally has some stability. When you have a shitty defensive coordinator and no talent at the position things like this happen against Penn State:

Shut. Down. Corner. AMIRITE?

(deep breath, that era is over, deep breath, that era is over)

Okay, back to the main point. Notre Dame is facing similar OMG DOOM at the defensive back position. They graduated three starters from last year's team and the only guy on the roster, Lo Wood, with any foreseeable experience just had his Achilles explode. He done. 

From the Associated Press:

"The Irish expect to be strong up front defensively, led by star linebacker Manti Te'o and defensive ends Kapron Lewis-Moore and Stephon Tuitt.There was already uncertainty in the secondary, which lost Harrison Smith and Robert Blanton to the NFL.
Freshman KeiVarae Russell, a converted running back, had been practicing behind Wood. Sophomores Josh Atkinson and Jalen Brown also split time at corner."

The Fighting Irish are stacked up front and return ManBearPig Manti Te'o, so getting pressure on the quarterback and stopping the run should not be a problem. But if a team is able to adjust and neutralize the Notre Dame front seven? Look the hell out. They could be in for some serious shootouts.

Their schedule doesn't do them any favors either.

Date	Time	Opponent	Site	TV	Result
September 1	9:00am	Navy[2]	Aviva Stadium • Dublin, Ireland	CBS
September 8	3:30pm	Purdue[2]	Notre Dame Stadium • Notre Dame, IN	NBC
September 15	TBA	at Michigan State[2]	Spartan Stadium • East Lansing, MI
September 22	7:30pm	Michigan[2]	Notre Dame Stadium • Notre Dame, IN	NBC
October 6	7:30pm	Miami[3]	Soldier Field • Chicago, IL	NBC
October 13	3:30pm	Stanford[2]	Notre Dame Stadium • Notre Dame, IN	NBC
October 20	3:30pm	BYU[2]	Notre Dame Stadium • Notre Dame, IN	NBC
October 27	TBA	at Oklahoma[2]	Oklahoma Memorial Stadium • Norman, OK
November 3	3:30pm	Pittsburgh[2]	Notre Dame Stadium • Notre Dame, IN	NBC
November 10	TBA	at Boston College[2]	Alumni Stadium • Chestnut Hill, MA
November 17	3:30pm	Wake Forest[2]	Notre Dame Stadium • Notre Dame, IN	NBC
November 24	TBA	at USC[2]	Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum • Los Angeles, CA
*Non-conference game. Homecoming. #Rankings from Coaches' Poll released prior to game. All times are in Eastern Time.

At Oklahoma. At USC. At Michigan State.

That last game of the year, at USC. Well, I'm not holding out too much hope for the Fighting Irish. Mainly because, well, Robert Woods had 119 yards and two touchdowns last year when the Irish actually had a secondary. When he lines up against their tackling dummies, it might as well be the Skeleton Drill.

Belitnicoff me, bro.

Also: Freekbass

The (Afternoon) Wood - August 21, 2012

Welcome to today's edition of The (Afternoon) Wood.

First and foremost, thank you for all the positive feedback. It feels good to finally have some football back in our lives.

On that note, let's introduce THE BEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL TICKER EVER MADE:



That's right, folks, WERE IN THE SINGLE DIGITS. SINGLE. DIGITS.

No more baseball, no more Olympics, no more shower rape, no more T.O. Dr. Phil child support hit him with a sock full of quarters and keep hitting him and keep hitting him....

Nope, we're about to enter the most magical time of the year. The time of year where my insufferable fanboy behavior skyrockets into an explosion of gossamer teardrops in the sky.

So, without further ado, let's get to The Wood.

The 'Tee Pee'

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IF YOU AIN'T CROOTIN' YOU AIN'T TRYIN' PAWWWWWWLLLLLLL

I follow recruiting. Yes, this makes me a douchebag. Caring about the movements of 16 and 17-year-old kids makes me two steps away from showing up on a Chris Hansen barstool, but I can't help it. I like to see how my team is getting better. I like to see how the competition stacks up as well. 

Over the last five years, however, recruiting has taken a sharp turn from "Hey, I'm just passionate about my team and I want to know it's future players..." to "HEY, I FOLLOW YOU ON TWITTER, FACEBOOK, TUMBLR, PINTEREST (do guys Pinterest?) AND REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU ACCIDENTALLY TWEETED OUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DIRECT MESSAGING, LOL, YEAH I WROTE THAT DOWN AND PUT IT NEXT TO MY HAIR DOLL OF YOU." 

Look, I get it. It's a business. In fact, you easily make the argument that there are roughly thousands of people in the field of internet journalism that have managed to maintain a stable income in that tire fire of a career choice (sets his BA in Journalism on fire). I first found out about Rivals back in 2002. It was big then. It's even bigger now. Competing with Rivals is Scout, 247Sports (Former Rivals bros) MaxPreps and ESPN High School. ESPN has started making 'Nation' pages and employing people from each nation site to follow a school's recruitment. (What up, @TomVH)

A Georgia fan called a recruit. It happened. This is not a joke. This is not a 'The Onion' headline. A Georgia Bulldog fan actually had the sack to call up a recruit to check on the kids' recruitment status with the team. I can't make this shit up. 

This is when social media goes wrong. The advent and growth of Twitter and Facebook make people who we shouldn't have access to widely accessible. On opposite sides of the spectrum are idiots like "GO DWAGS!" guy calling the recruit and scumbags trolling high school kids based on their school choice and people who follow the people who are paid to track recruiting. I think I sit somewhere in the far right, near the bloggers and writers who follow the recruits because it's their job and it feed their family. They do an amazing job of providing unbiased reporting and that's why I seek my information from them. I've never tweeted a recruit. It's an NCAA violation.

Crazies are going to ruin it for the rest of the mildly crazy. So, UGA fan, if you're ever considering calling a recruit again to feed that dead spot in your brain that lacks common sense, I offer you this as something to mentally masturbate to instead: Aaron Murray using a shake weight. 

Now jerk off to that, you lucky so-and-so. Leave the kids alone. 

/fin

The (Evening) Wood - August 20, 2012

HEEEEEEE'S BACK!

Good evening, ladies and gentleman, and welcome to the triumphant return of The Crackback Blog. After an eight month hiatus, I am back with a vengeance ready to take on the college football season one toilet at a time. 

Tonight, we will discuss the absolute futility of preseason polls. Yes, this is a topic that has been beaten to death but there are some decent reads out there that are worth perusing. 

Those new to The Crackback Blog: 
1. If you're offending by cartoon pictures of penises, this is not the place for you. 
2. If you're looking for hard-hitting journalism, again, you've come to the wrong place. 
3. This blog will be conversational. I'll do my best to speak in a relative form of English. 
4. I love college football. I also have a very sweet spot in my heart for the University of Michigan. However, this is not a Michigan blog. When Michigan does something noteworthy (good or bad) it will be displayed here. For instance:

HT to SBNation for this timeless gem.

5. I'll try to post something every day. If it doesn't happen it's because I have a full time job and two kids who suck the marrow of life from my being.

OKAY, LET'S DO THIS.

The 'Old Fashion'

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"HE VOTED FOR WHO?"

Nothing is more pointless than preseason polls. They are archaic. They are tired. They are generally full of folly. This year was no different. The usual suspects sit atop the polls:

For those not keen on what those little numbers in parenthesis mean, that number signifies how many "1st Place Votes" a team received and if you take a gander at the teams in the No. 4 and No. 9 spots you're rewarded with your first LOLWUT of the season. 

Again, as I've previously stated, I'm as big a Michigan slappy as anyone on the planet but voting them first place when they didn't even win their own conference last year is as silly as being able to play for the national title without even winning your conference. *cough Roll Tide *cough. 

Before you shit your pants, I was against the rematch in 2006. Michigan did not defeat Ohio State, thus not winning the conference, thus forfeiting any opportunity to play for the title. It's as simple as the Rose Bowl is pure. Which, in purity standards, is like 100% Pure Columbian Cocaine. THAT PURE, BITCH. 

The gentleman who gave Michigan it's first place vote was Bob Asmussen. Kyle Meinke, of AnnArbor.com, gets Asmussen's explanation here. In an interesting twist of irony, Meinke himself was the only person who voted Oklahoma No. 1 in the polls. While Meinke didn't get shelled with as much criticism as Asmussen did for his choice, his pick did cause me to turn my head and say "hmmmm". His explanation for the pick can be found here. 

After giving it thought, though, I realized that guys like Meinke and Asmussen have the world by the balls. These polls, irrelevant as they may be, still spark discussion. When you've got two renegades who throw caution to the wind and lift their kilts to the world you have to respect it. In fact, I wish more  writers would have the balls to go with their gut instincts instead of just trying to please the masses. Bravo, gentleman. 

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As we end our journey today, I can't help but he humbled by anyone who takes the time to read this. So I'll share with you a stupid assertion that I made last evening:

If Michigan defeats Alabama on September 1, swear to God, I'll butt chug a Four Loko in a Teletubby costume.

I stand by my word. Follow me @MarktheNomad